Crushed.

Psalm 34:18 – “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Does this verse describe your walk with God today? How about in the last month? The last year? Ever?

Today, I’m writing this post as I cling desperately to this promise. These words flow from a heart that is devastated and crushed, a soul heavy with hurt. If you spend a lot of time around churches or church people, you may often run into the platitude that for Christians, there is a difference between joy and happiness: joy comes from standing on the Rock of truth that Christ died for you and you are utterly loved, forgiven, and valued beyond your wildest imagination. Conversely, happiness is a fleeting emotion that comes primarily from your individual circumstances. Joy is unshakable, happiness is fickle; joy is from above, happiness is earthly.

While these concepts are entirely biblical and of huge value to the follower of Christ Jesus, they can fall short of speaking to a heart that is broken and heavy. For me, when pain like this comes into my life, I try to hide it (from everyone). I don’t address it in my prayers to God, I’m not entirely open about it in community with other believers, I lock it in a box in my own heart and become numb to the pain.

The truth is, I feel guilty when I’m hurting. I think to myself, “I’m the worst Christian on the planet. How dare I feel this way when God has given me everything? I’m supposed to be happy and cheerful and content in all circumstances.”

In a world full of hurt, disciples of Jesus are not called to be robots. We’re called to be real people, to speak the Truth with sincerity and honesty and vulnerability (2 Corinthians 2:17). We follow a God who wept for His city (Luke 19), His friends (John 11), and even over the Father’s will for His life in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26). In fact, in the Garden, Christ reveals “my soul is very sorrowful, even unto death,” (Matthew 26:38, ESV).

God doesn’t expect you to have it together. Like an upset child running to its Daddy, so it is between us and our Father. He does not begrudge you emotion and pain. In fact, He is a God who desires to speak into pain and to comfort the afflicted.

Recognizing these truths, I want to share four practical ways you can handle your pain in a biblical way, and continue to set your eyes upon God — who cares for you and your circumstances more than you could ever comprehend:

1. Be honest.

Be honest in prayer, be honest in conversation, be honest with yourself. This is so important. God already knows how you’re doing; to hide it from Him is absurd. In fact, it’s a pride issue: you cannot manage your pain better than God, stop fighting Him. You are not too strong that you don’t need God’s gracious healing.

Be honest in community: let the Church be the Church for you. No one follows Christ in a vacuum. Share your mess with those around you who you trust to speak Truth into the areas where you are weak. Be strengthened, refreshed, and encouraged by your brothers and sisters. Who knows? Maybe someone else is going through the exact same thing. Showing weakness is the mark of a mature disciple of Christ:

2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

2. Run to Him.

Our God is a God that never fails to comfort, heal, and restore. He comforts those who mourn (Matthew 5:4, ESV), answers the afflicted (Psalm 118:5, ESV), protects the powerless (Psalm 91:4,15; ESV), and binds the wounds of the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1, ESV). The best thing for the broken believer to do is simply rest in His presence and let His promised peace and mercy wash over you like a flood. The Lord is jealous for His role as your sole Comforter: do not look to the things of this world to soothe the wounds that only God can handle. If ever you doubt the level of compassion and commitment God has towards your life, look to the cross. That is the standard by which we can measure how God sees us every day, every hour, no matter how lost we feel.

3. Trust His promises.

Do you really believe that God is faithful? Do you really believe that He is good? Do you believe in your heart the things you speak with your lips? The circumstances that have broken your heart are the litmus test for your belief and trust in who God says He is. The Scriptures bear witness that God is faithful (Deuteronomy 7:9, Psalm 111:7, 1 Corinthians 1:9), that His mercy absolutely endures forever (Lamentations 3:22).

If God is all that He says He is, you have no reason to despair. Be hurt, yes, but never lose hope. Trust that even the worst circumstances or your worst pain are part of God’s plan, and He Himself will carry you through by His glorious might and wonderful love. Believe through the pain, trust in what you do not see for this is the essence of faith. God knows what He’s doing, He is never out of control, He is never absent or uncaring.

4. Don’t waste your pain.

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Our God is so sovereign that He is able to take even the worst events and transform them into good things for His children. When you recognize this truth, you’ll see your pain in a different way: as a tool to refine and strengthen your faith. God wills that your darkest moments, through faith, should produce in you endurance, character, and hope (Romans 5:3-5). Knowing this, you can own your pain, allow it to drive you to God, and use it for producing a more mature faith. God does not do anything on accident, but uses everything for the purposes of making His name great and taking care of His kids.

So don’t be nonchalant when your heart is broken, don’t wait for it to pass, don’t bury it and become numb. God wills for you to run to Him in your darkest moments, trusting in His sovereignty when you can’t see or don’t understand how He is moving. Commit to walking by faith and not by what you see, knowing that you can rest in who God says He is, and bring all of your hurt to Him. He is a God of compassion and healing, a God who is quick to comfort the brokenhearted, and bind up their wounds.

I want to love you like He does,